Sudden urge to post, so here I am. (: .
Had another new student in class from China, lol.
Miss Teo arranged me to sit beside her in class. *wink.
AND, Brenda is just behind her, so.. *double winkz.
Anyway, I was doing my tuition homework awhile ago, and my mind started to wander.
Looking back into the past, I don't thing I have done anything wrong.
I mean, try being me & experience all the hurt and pain BEFORE you judge me, BEFORE you bitch about me to others, BEFORE you even do anything.
Try being me, when you're head over heels in love with someone so dear to you, you don't mind even when you were being taken advantage of.
Try being me, being woken up in the morning by your parents demanding you to change and see a gynae @ 7am.
Try being me, after realising what they've said, that they have went over the line, looking at each and every single smutty texts that you and your boyf have sent to each other.
Try being me, when your own parents called the cops on their own daughter.
Try being me, when it was 3 male cops going through the texts now, in addition with your parents having seen through it already.
Try being me, alone, scared, and with nobody to count on.
Try being me, when the whole world is now against you.
Try being me, when your closest friends don't even know what happened to you.
Try being me, having to go to the hospital to get checked.
Try being me, when your own parents blame you for all that happened.
Try being me, when you have nobody to count on, fearful of what might happen next.
Try being me, after waiting for hours and hours, and it was finally your turn to get checked, after running to the few departments in the hospital.
Try being me, when a stranger(doctor) was touching you here and there and asking you questions.
Try being me, showing your most sensitive and intimate part to 2 complete strangers, and having them poke cotton buds inside your vagina to see if your hymen is intact or not.
Try being me, helpless, alone, afraid.
Try being me, when all your connections to the 'outside' world are being cut away.
Try being me, where you can only sleep and cry everyday.
Try being me, when another male inspector dropped in, started screaming and yelling at you, and never had one of your parents ever done that to you.
Try being me, after being able to call your friend, hoping that she will reassure you and that everything will be fine.
Try being me, emotionally unstable, and your parents being even more protective and would call you every few minutes if you went to her house to do a project.
Try being me, furious, confused, tears gathering in your eyes.
Try being me, having no one else to depend on.
Try being me, when your closest friend wrote a "poem" about you, telling you to wake up, and spreading it to others, when she doesn't even know what the hell was going on, or how you were feeling at that point of time.
Try being me, utterly lost, with no support whatsoever.
Try being me, at the age of 14, having to deal with this, all alone.
Try being me.
Don't give me bullshits that you can't imagine what I've gone through. Im sure you can. After doing that, THEN bitch about me, and tell me to wake up. If you can't, then shut your mouth and don't judge me when you can't even imagine what i've gone thorugh. mmkay? mmkay.
Oh, the joy of getting hit on the head by the shuttlecock twice in a row, in consecutive PE lessons!
